Life, in its purest form with its challenges, its joys as they used to be as soon as we were intelligent enough to experience them, all enabling us to thrive in order that we realized and cemented our most basic purpose, its attributes to the culture and or the norms of each of us as a people, all have been altered completely so that there must exist not just fear but failure thereof as well. Little did we know that the method by which this was to be was just a simple [or not so simple] conceptualization? The one that was to change the way we view ourselves and our environment forever or at least to this day. This has not just had potential in each of us to loose or erase our true identity completely, the one thing that is nexus between ourselves today and generations before us. I am talking about the very source of our strength, courage and wit not just to counter challenges, negotiate sharp and at times sudden turns but to subsist and bring longevity to our achievement potential as human beings.
We inadvertently have allowed ourselves to conceive a self destructive idea that yes was in actual fact somewhat an imposition as to it, value on our basics as we know them was attached. This idea that with it, the owner had to establish artificial mechanisms that were to appear to us to be for our own survival and so that while we appreciate having them, they cunningly sought to entangled us in the vine of furthered dispossession, that of our mind, our spirit and our physicality. We, in the current generations existing today were all born in to this concept and therefore could not have been able to escape it as our then new environment was already contaminated with it with a challenge that would assist us to measure it against. We know that this concept is anti-humanist as it brought alive and continued to feed immortality to materialism and all that is attached to it, why? To simply influence the finite human desire so that the craftsmanship of individualism is not just realized but completed and that the cycle repeats itself over and again. This because as human beings we turn not just to own desire, we believe that it is part and parcel of our selfness as individuals.
if you believe that you are a self, if you believe in self nature as being real, as being truly existent, then there has to be desire, because in order for a or to have a self you have to define a self. If you believe in the nature of self, you have to have an underlying belief that self ends here and other begins there. You have to have some conceptualization in your mind about what the self is, because the idea of self cannot exist without some definition. Conceptual proliferation develops, and with that, desire. Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo (Buddha faith)
We need to be able to identify first the immediate enemy, then his instruments of destruction and where they are located. I am saying it is because of desire that money and all other materials that are attached to the same money come alive to coexist with us. I am saying, while desire is unavoidable since one would have come to some level of self realization, its existence within us can successfully rival our longing to consistency serve in our respective faiths and /or beliefs or giving gratitude deities. There is no doubt we are complex creatures and that because of our intellect we are said to be in the driving seat of all life forms as we take the struggle of evolution forward in our own lifetime(s). This comes with a defaulted responsibility of being protectors of the same said life forms with which we share our world. By the same measure we are responsible to the well being and thriving of other human beings we are said to be leading in different areas of demanded by nature on the one hand and our response to such demands on the other.
Our success in sharing the world in the fairest manner with all living organisms is if we are successful in sieving accurately the seeds of bad desire from the good ones. The bad one must be gotten rid of without delay because it objectifies everything in order to satisfy and worship the self, and as it also affixes itself upon the realm of individualism. It is the same which cause us not just to place value but to hunger to take ownership of that same which must stand as an entity for the deserved ones or for all. Capitalism is an enemy of humanity. We must be weary of the forces such as attack on our desires as this will separate us or even cause us to stratify as a people.
Mzolozolo.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Good Eats for School-Age Kids - WebMD Feature
How you feed your kid now can inspire healthy eating habits for a lifetime.
How you feed your kid now can inspire healthy eating habits for a lifetime. New friends and activities change a school-age child's perspective on food. But it's still up to parents to provide kids with the foods they need to thrive.
Here's some expert advice on how you can do that, as well as set the stage for your child to learn healthy eating habits for life.
The Family Rules
Your child is probably spending more time than ever away from home, what with school, activities, and friends. Teachers, coaches, and peers may also influence a child's food preferences. Many lifelong food habits are established between the ages of 6 and 12, says Tara Ostrowe, MS, RD, a nutritionist and exercise physiologist in New York. During this time in particular, parents should try to display the same behaviors of healthy eating and regular exercise they would like their child to have for life.
Leading by example is so important at this age, says Theresa Nicklas, DrPH, professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Rather than insisting your children finish their broccoli or drink their milk, show them you enjoy these foods. Be authoritative at the table, not authoritarian, Nicklas says.
Set the Table for Good Nutrition
Eating a variety of nutrient-rich foods -- such as whole grains, fat-free and low-fat dairy foods, lean protein, fruits, and vegetables -- at meals and snacks provides the calories and nutrients a school-age child needs to learn and play.
How will you know your child's getting enough of the right foods? MyPlate, the latest edition of the government's food guidance system, can help. MyPlate reflects the recommendations in the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans (DGA).
MyPlate's suggested servings are based on age, gender, and activity level. The examples below illustrate how school-age children's needs differ.
A 6-year-old girl who gets less than 30 minutes of exercise needs this every day:
4 ounces from grains group
1 1/2 cups from vegetable group
1 cup from fruit group
2 1/2 cups from dairy group
3 ounces from protein foods group
4 teaspoons oils
An 11-year-old active boy who gets 30 to 60 minutes of physical activity every day needs this on a daily basis:
6 ounces from grains group
2 1/2 cups from vegetable group
2 cups from fruit group
3 cups from dairy group
5.5 ounces from protein foods group
6 teaspoons oils
Foster a Healthy Weight
Serve healthy foods in the suggested amounts, and let your child take it from there. Monitoring every morsel out of concern for a child's weight could encourage an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia later on in life.
Allowing kids to eat when they are hungry and stop when full is the key to lifelong weight control. Using food to bribe, punish, or reward encourages a child to ignore hunger cues. Buy your children a book or small toy instead of an ice-cream cone when you want to show them you are pleased, says Ostrowe.
Even better, take a walk or bike ride with your son or daughter. According to the 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, children need 60 minutes of daily physical activity. Many youngsters don't come close.
Television and computer games are partly to blame for kids' sedentary habits. Limiting screen time goes a long way toward good health. Studies show that children who watch less than two hours of television daily are more likely to be physically active and have a better diet than kids who watch more, Ostrowe tells WebMD.
Inadequate physical activity and excess calorie consumption, particularly from the high-fat and sugar-laden foods kids favor, add up to extra body fat that a school-aged child may never lose. A study in the British Medical Journal illustrates the importance of establishing habits that encourage a healthy weight at a young age. Researchers who tracked nearly 6,000 British adolescents for five years found that if a child was overweight by age 11, he was likely to be so at age 15, too. Many overweight teens go on to become overweight adults.
Build Strong Bones
Foods such as sweetened soft drinks, french fries, and candy are usually to blame for the extra calories that result in overweight. To make matters worse, these choices take the place of more nutritious foods. For example, children who drink more soft drinks, such as soda and sports beverages, drink less milk, says Ostrowe.
Excluding calcium-rich beverages such as milk leads to a shortfall in calcium and vitamin D at a time when your child needs more than ever.
By age 9, calcium needs increase to 1,300 milligrams a day. MyPlate recommends 3 cups of fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk for everyone 9 and older to help satisfy the need for calcium and vitamin D, which works with calcium to promote fracture-resistant bones in adolescence and beyond. Females form about 90% of the bone mass they will ever have by age 18, and males achieve that by age 20.
Drinking milk is the easiest way to build bone because it provides both calcium and vitamin D, says Christina Economos, PhD, associate professor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts University.
Eight ounces of yogurt or 1 1/2 ounces of hard cheese each contain as much calcium as a glass of milk. (However, most yogurt and hard cheeses lack vitamin D.) Orange juice and soy beverages fortified with calcium and vitamin D are other worthy bone-building beverages.
Children who do not get enough dairy or alternatives may need supplemental calcium and vitamin D. See your pediatrician or a registered dietitian if you're concerned.
Kids in the Kitchen
How do you get kids to buy into good nutrition? Getting children involved in food choice and preparation is one of the best strategies for helping them eat right, says Economos, herself a mother of two.
Giving kids a say in what they eat encourages the autonomy they crave.
Allow your child some veto power in the supermarket, but make sure they choose among healthy foods. For example, let your child choose between bananas and kiwis, or oatmeal and other whole-grain cereals. At home, encourage your children to prepare healthy brown-bag lunches and easy snacks.
Gather as often as possible for family meals, particularly when your child has been involved in making them. Research shows dining together without distractions -- including the TV -- translates into a better diet and lower chance of overeating, says Economos. Plus, it gives you and your child a chance to talk.
Bet on Breakfast
Mornings can be chaotic, leaving breakfast -- and better nutrition -- in the lurch. Nicklas' research bears that out. Kids who eat breakfast take in more of the nutrients they need, she says. Breakfast skippers typically do not make up for the missed opportunity the morning meal provides.
What you eat for breakfast matters. Cereal (particularly whole-grain types) with milk and fruit make a quick meal that offers an array of nutrients, including carbohydrate, fiber, calcium, iron, folic acid, and zinc.
Cereal can be good for the waistline and the heart, too. A 2009 Journal of the American Dietetic Association study that followed 660 boys and girls ages 8 to 10 for an average of seven and a half years found a link between eating cereal and a healthier body weight and lower levels of total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol (“bad” cholesterol) and triglycerides (fat in the blood.)
Other Than Cereal
There's no need to limit breakfast foods to traditional choices such as ready-to-eat cereal, however. The following healthy, kid-friendly breakfasts will beckon kids to the table (many are portable feasts to eat on the way to school or during morning snack time):
Half a whole-grain bagel spread with almond, peanut, soy, or sunflower seed butter and topped with raisins; milk
1 small slice of leftover cheese pizza; 100% orange juice
8 ounces low-fat fruited yogurt; whole-grain toast; 100% juice
Fruit and yogurt smoothie; whole-grain toast
Scrambled egg stuffed into half a whole-grain pita pocket and topped with shredded cheddar cheese and salsa or ketchup; 100% juice
Waffle sandwich: two whole-grain, toasted waffles spread with almond, peanut, soy, or sunflower seed butter; milk
Snack Attack!
School-age children are notorious noshers. Not to worry, as long as between-meal snacking is nutritious. The best snacks offer significant nutrients for the calories they provide.
Hungry kids will eat what you have on hand, so stock the kitchen with the fixings for healthy snacks like these, many of which are great to take on the go:
Trail mix made from low-sugar cereal, dried fruit, chopped nuts, and mini chocolate chips
Sandwiches prepared with whole-grain bread
Hummus or peanut butter and whole-grain crackers
Fruit and yogurt for dipping
Bowl of whole-grain cereal and low-fat milk
Vegetables and low-fat dip
Reduced-fat mozzarella cheese sticks and low-fat crackers
Low-fat microwave popcorn and 100% juice
Roasted soybeans
Low-fat cottage cheese and whole-grain crackers
Nuts
How you feed your kid now can inspire healthy eating habits for a lifetime. New friends and activities change a school-age child's perspective on food. But it's still up to parents to provide kids with the foods they need to thrive.
Here's some expert advice on how you can do that, as well as set the stage for your child to learn healthy eating habits for life.
The Family Rules
Your child is probably spending more time than ever away from home, what with school, activities, and friends. Teachers, coaches, and peers may also influence a child's food preferences. Many lifelong food habits are established between the ages of 6 and 12, says Tara Ostrowe, MS, RD, a nutritionist and exercise physiologist in New York. During this time in particular, parents should try to display the same behaviors of healthy eating and regular exercise they would like their child to have for life.
Leading by example is so important at this age, says Theresa Nicklas, DrPH, professor of pediatrics at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. Rather than insisting your children finish their broccoli or drink their milk, show them you enjoy these foods. Be authoritative at the table, not authoritarian, Nicklas says.
Set the Table for Good Nutrition
Eating a variety of nutrient-rich foods -- such as whole grains, fat-free and low-fat dairy foods, lean protein, fruits, and vegetables -- at meals and snacks provides the calories and nutrients a school-age child needs to learn and play.
How will you know your child's getting enough of the right foods? MyPlate, the latest edition of the government's food guidance system, can help. MyPlate reflects the recommendations in the 2010 Dietary Guidelines for Americans (DGA).
MyPlate's suggested servings are based on age, gender, and activity level. The examples below illustrate how school-age children's needs differ.
A 6-year-old girl who gets less than 30 minutes of exercise needs this every day:
4 ounces from grains group
1 1/2 cups from vegetable group
1 cup from fruit group
2 1/2 cups from dairy group
3 ounces from protein foods group
4 teaspoons oils
An 11-year-old active boy who gets 30 to 60 minutes of physical activity every day needs this on a daily basis:
6 ounces from grains group
2 1/2 cups from vegetable group
2 cups from fruit group
3 cups from dairy group
5.5 ounces from protein foods group
6 teaspoons oils
Foster a Healthy Weight
Serve healthy foods in the suggested amounts, and let your child take it from there. Monitoring every morsel out of concern for a child's weight could encourage an eating disorder such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia later on in life.
Allowing kids to eat when they are hungry and stop when full is the key to lifelong weight control. Using food to bribe, punish, or reward encourages a child to ignore hunger cues. Buy your children a book or small toy instead of an ice-cream cone when you want to show them you are pleased, says Ostrowe.
Even better, take a walk or bike ride with your son or daughter. According to the 2008 Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, children need 60 minutes of daily physical activity. Many youngsters don't come close.
Television and computer games are partly to blame for kids' sedentary habits. Limiting screen time goes a long way toward good health. Studies show that children who watch less than two hours of television daily are more likely to be physically active and have a better diet than kids who watch more, Ostrowe tells WebMD.
Inadequate physical activity and excess calorie consumption, particularly from the high-fat and sugar-laden foods kids favor, add up to extra body fat that a school-aged child may never lose. A study in the British Medical Journal illustrates the importance of establishing habits that encourage a healthy weight at a young age. Researchers who tracked nearly 6,000 British adolescents for five years found that if a child was overweight by age 11, he was likely to be so at age 15, too. Many overweight teens go on to become overweight adults.
Build Strong Bones
Foods such as sweetened soft drinks, french fries, and candy are usually to blame for the extra calories that result in overweight. To make matters worse, these choices take the place of more nutritious foods. For example, children who drink more soft drinks, such as soda and sports beverages, drink less milk, says Ostrowe.
Excluding calcium-rich beverages such as milk leads to a shortfall in calcium and vitamin D at a time when your child needs more than ever.
By age 9, calcium needs increase to 1,300 milligrams a day. MyPlate recommends 3 cups of fat-free or low-fat (1%) milk for everyone 9 and older to help satisfy the need for calcium and vitamin D, which works with calcium to promote fracture-resistant bones in adolescence and beyond. Females form about 90% of the bone mass they will ever have by age 18, and males achieve that by age 20.
Drinking milk is the easiest way to build bone because it provides both calcium and vitamin D, says Christina Economos, PhD, associate professor at the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts University.
Eight ounces of yogurt or 1 1/2 ounces of hard cheese each contain as much calcium as a glass of milk. (However, most yogurt and hard cheeses lack vitamin D.) Orange juice and soy beverages fortified with calcium and vitamin D are other worthy bone-building beverages.
Children who do not get enough dairy or alternatives may need supplemental calcium and vitamin D. See your pediatrician or a registered dietitian if you're concerned.
Kids in the Kitchen
How do you get kids to buy into good nutrition? Getting children involved in food choice and preparation is one of the best strategies for helping them eat right, says Economos, herself a mother of two.
Giving kids a say in what they eat encourages the autonomy they crave.
Allow your child some veto power in the supermarket, but make sure they choose among healthy foods. For example, let your child choose between bananas and kiwis, or oatmeal and other whole-grain cereals. At home, encourage your children to prepare healthy brown-bag lunches and easy snacks.
Gather as often as possible for family meals, particularly when your child has been involved in making them. Research shows dining together without distractions -- including the TV -- translates into a better diet and lower chance of overeating, says Economos. Plus, it gives you and your child a chance to talk.
Bet on Breakfast
Mornings can be chaotic, leaving breakfast -- and better nutrition -- in the lurch. Nicklas' research bears that out. Kids who eat breakfast take in more of the nutrients they need, she says. Breakfast skippers typically do not make up for the missed opportunity the morning meal provides.
What you eat for breakfast matters. Cereal (particularly whole-grain types) with milk and fruit make a quick meal that offers an array of nutrients, including carbohydrate, fiber, calcium, iron, folic acid, and zinc.
Cereal can be good for the waistline and the heart, too. A 2009 Journal of the American Dietetic Association study that followed 660 boys and girls ages 8 to 10 for an average of seven and a half years found a link between eating cereal and a healthier body weight and lower levels of total cholesterol, LDL cholesterol (“bad” cholesterol) and triglycerides (fat in the blood.)
Other Than Cereal
There's no need to limit breakfast foods to traditional choices such as ready-to-eat cereal, however. The following healthy, kid-friendly breakfasts will beckon kids to the table (many are portable feasts to eat on the way to school or during morning snack time):
Half a whole-grain bagel spread with almond, peanut, soy, or sunflower seed butter and topped with raisins; milk
1 small slice of leftover cheese pizza; 100% orange juice
8 ounces low-fat fruited yogurt; whole-grain toast; 100% juice
Fruit and yogurt smoothie; whole-grain toast
Scrambled egg stuffed into half a whole-grain pita pocket and topped with shredded cheddar cheese and salsa or ketchup; 100% juice
Waffle sandwich: two whole-grain, toasted waffles spread with almond, peanut, soy, or sunflower seed butter; milk
Snack Attack!
School-age children are notorious noshers. Not to worry, as long as between-meal snacking is nutritious. The best snacks offer significant nutrients for the calories they provide.
Hungry kids will eat what you have on hand, so stock the kitchen with the fixings for healthy snacks like these, many of which are great to take on the go:
Trail mix made from low-sugar cereal, dried fruit, chopped nuts, and mini chocolate chips
Sandwiches prepared with whole-grain bread
Hummus or peanut butter and whole-grain crackers
Fruit and yogurt for dipping
Bowl of whole-grain cereal and low-fat milk
Vegetables and low-fat dip
Reduced-fat mozzarella cheese sticks and low-fat crackers
Low-fat microwave popcorn and 100% juice
Roasted soybeans
Low-fat cottage cheese and whole-grain crackers
Nuts
Friday, June 24, 2011
Children and selfworth
Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves. It is the feeling we have about all the things we see ourselves to be. It is the knowledge that we are lovable, we are capable, and we are unique. Good self-esteem means:
having a healthy view of yourself,
having a quiet sense of self-worth,
having a positive outlook,
feeling satisfied with yourself most of the time,
setting realistic goals.
Both adults and children benefit from good relationships, experiences and positive thinking. Many of the steps necessary for building a child's self-esteem will also help you in developing and maintaining your own.
As a parent, you have the greatest influence in shaping your children's sense of self-worth; you are their first and most important teacher. Their self-esteem is further influenced as they develop relationships with other family members, school teachers, friends and other adults.
Love and acceptance
Showing children that they are loved and accepted simply because they exist is the first and most important step to building a healthy self-esteem. Children need to get the message that they are worthy of love (even if they behave badly sometimes) from the most important adults in their lives - their parents, You must remember to:
give love with no strings attached,
show love and acceptance through your daily expressions of affection, care and concern,
spend time together - play, work and relax together,
show that you feel good about them by hugging them,
tell them often, "I like what you did/said" and "I love you."
A sense of belonging
Children need to know that they are important. When they feel accepted and loved by the important people in their lives, they feel comfortable, safe and secure, and open to communication. If children feel respected and secure within a family, they will find it easier to make friendships outside the family. To help children develop that sense of belonging, you can:
help them build valuable family and community relationships,
encourage pride in their family's ethnic background and heritage,
keep reminders of family events and family history around the home (photograph albums, home videos, etc.).
Security and safety
Children must have their basic needs met if they are to feel safe and comfortable. A sense of security and safety allows them to take the next step: to try new things and to learn about themselves.
When children feel safe, they are less likely to be afraid of failure and more likely to risk trying again when they fail. Through this process, they are able to experience success. As their parent, you should try to:
provide a safe physical environment,
set and enforce clear rules and limits,
be realistic in your expectations,
encourage them to say "No" to negative pressures.
Trust
A stable environment they can depend on provides children with a sense of security. It is important for children to learn that their actions have consequences. Knowing that you can be relied upon to be consistent and to give help when necessary helps children to think, "I can trust you, and I can trust myself." To build this kind of trust, you should:
be consistent so they know what to expect,
be sure your verbal and non-verbal messages agree,
be honest about your feelings to yourself and to the children,
treat each child fairly.
Respect
Children will develop respect for themselves and for others if they learn that what they think, feel and do is important. If you put them down or call them demeaning names, your children will feel unworthy. Criticism or punishment which is too harsh will prevent children from developing self-confidence. By accepting your children's right to have feelings, you can help them learn to respect the feelings of others. If you teach your children healthy ways to express their feelings, they will learn to develop positive relationships. When dealing with your children, you should remember to:
accept what they are feeling even if it is different from your own feelings,
show respect for their feelings, beliefs, actions and individuality by listening with sincere interest,
make "I feel" or "I believe", rather than "You are", statements when you do have to tell children what they are doing is wrong.
Feeling special
We are all special. It is important for you to help your children discover their own special talents and qualities. Once they do identify what makes them special, they need to learn to value their own strengths. Remember to teach your children that feeling special does not mean feeling better than others; rather, it is a positive understanding of their own uniqueness. You should encourage children to:
value their uniqueness,
be optimistic,
have a cheerful attitude (remember to set a good example),
try things their own way,
understand that trying your best is more important than winning.
Confidence
It is extremely important to give children support and approval. Children who have faith and confidence in themselves and their abilities will be more likely to lead happy and productive adult lives. Teach your children to learn from their mistakes, to work towards a goal, and to have pride in their successes. You should:
encourage them to face challenges and take risks,
teach them to make decisions and to set goals,
express faith and confidence in them and their capabilities,
provide opportunities for them to take responsibility for their actions,
help them recognize that there are things they must accept and things they can choose to change,
give them an opportunity to succeed.
having a healthy view of yourself,
having a quiet sense of self-worth,
having a positive outlook,
feeling satisfied with yourself most of the time,
setting realistic goals.
Both adults and children benefit from good relationships, experiences and positive thinking. Many of the steps necessary for building a child's self-esteem will also help you in developing and maintaining your own.
As a parent, you have the greatest influence in shaping your children's sense of self-worth; you are their first and most important teacher. Their self-esteem is further influenced as they develop relationships with other family members, school teachers, friends and other adults.
Love and acceptance
Showing children that they are loved and accepted simply because they exist is the first and most important step to building a healthy self-esteem. Children need to get the message that they are worthy of love (even if they behave badly sometimes) from the most important adults in their lives - their parents, You must remember to:
give love with no strings attached,
show love and acceptance through your daily expressions of affection, care and concern,
spend time together - play, work and relax together,
show that you feel good about them by hugging them,
tell them often, "I like what you did/said" and "I love you."
A sense of belonging
Children need to know that they are important. When they feel accepted and loved by the important people in their lives, they feel comfortable, safe and secure, and open to communication. If children feel respected and secure within a family, they will find it easier to make friendships outside the family. To help children develop that sense of belonging, you can:
help them build valuable family and community relationships,
encourage pride in their family's ethnic background and heritage,
keep reminders of family events and family history around the home (photograph albums, home videos, etc.).
Security and safety
Children must have their basic needs met if they are to feel safe and comfortable. A sense of security and safety allows them to take the next step: to try new things and to learn about themselves.
When children feel safe, they are less likely to be afraid of failure and more likely to risk trying again when they fail. Through this process, they are able to experience success. As their parent, you should try to:
provide a safe physical environment,
set and enforce clear rules and limits,
be realistic in your expectations,
encourage them to say "No" to negative pressures.
Trust
A stable environment they can depend on provides children with a sense of security. It is important for children to learn that their actions have consequences. Knowing that you can be relied upon to be consistent and to give help when necessary helps children to think, "I can trust you, and I can trust myself." To build this kind of trust, you should:
be consistent so they know what to expect,
be sure your verbal and non-verbal messages agree,
be honest about your feelings to yourself and to the children,
treat each child fairly.
Respect
Children will develop respect for themselves and for others if they learn that what they think, feel and do is important. If you put them down or call them demeaning names, your children will feel unworthy. Criticism or punishment which is too harsh will prevent children from developing self-confidence. By accepting your children's right to have feelings, you can help them learn to respect the feelings of others. If you teach your children healthy ways to express their feelings, they will learn to develop positive relationships. When dealing with your children, you should remember to:
accept what they are feeling even if it is different from your own feelings,
show respect for their feelings, beliefs, actions and individuality by listening with sincere interest,
make "I feel" or "I believe", rather than "You are", statements when you do have to tell children what they are doing is wrong.
Feeling special
We are all special. It is important for you to help your children discover their own special talents and qualities. Once they do identify what makes them special, they need to learn to value their own strengths. Remember to teach your children that feeling special does not mean feeling better than others; rather, it is a positive understanding of their own uniqueness. You should encourage children to:
value their uniqueness,
be optimistic,
have a cheerful attitude (remember to set a good example),
try things their own way,
understand that trying your best is more important than winning.
Confidence
It is extremely important to give children support and approval. Children who have faith and confidence in themselves and their abilities will be more likely to lead happy and productive adult lives. Teach your children to learn from their mistakes, to work towards a goal, and to have pride in their successes. You should:
encourage them to face challenges and take risks,
teach them to make decisions and to set goals,
express faith and confidence in them and their capabilities,
provide opportunities for them to take responsibility for their actions,
help them recognize that there are things they must accept and things they can choose to change,
give them an opportunity to succeed.
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